Those…

Well, I haven’t even referenced many them yet, but I will… Believe me, I will.

Guys:

• JA: The US Marshall. The one I met through craig’s list. Read this if you need more info. and anything else with US Marshall in the title…
• BS#1: Not even an ex, but that guy whom I used to do and let do me, that texts me whenever Istart something up with someone else, or when I’m so depressed I’ll sleep with him again. I think his kind have some kind of telepathy.
• BS#2: the ginger headed for-gin-er. One of the man-whores (not mine, thank god.)
• Dumbquat:My brother. And the name my father says he should have named him. (No, I will not tell you what he thought my name should be.) And unlike his name, probably the smartest, hardest working person I know. Just thinking about what he’s gone through to get into med school kinda makes me feel bad about myself. Aaaaaaaaaaand I’m over it.
• Steve AKA Valiant: great friend from high school. Talk about good peoples, but not so good you want to take a sharpie to their face before you take them out to a bar. And can’t take a joke to save his life. But we love him. (Sometimes.)
• That Guy:The one who made the world stop; made all sound cease in a crowded bar; made every part of me tingle or burn, respectively; and who can never be mine. Why oh why did you have to f-in kiss me? 3 DAMN TIMES! Grrr… any-who, this guy will be the focus of some of those ‘private’ thoughts of mine.

Update: Kid’s Married… what a waste.

• Skeeter: My best friend, who is currently trying to graduate from Nursing school just so that he can support me as I try to write the great Amurican Novel. Riiiiiiiiiiiight.
• Dread: Hot guy from the mailroom in the garage. Hot. Man. Me likey!

Gals:

• GI Jane: More like Snow White in Fatigues, this is the little sister from my sorority. I can honestly say that she is now my sister… the good and the bad. I am going to be in her wedding. And she better bring me some hot ass marines for a little after party. The end.

Update: I was in her wedding. I looked like a blueberry in that dress, and she DIDN’T EVEN BRING ME HOT MARINES TO PLAY NAUGHTY GAMES WITH!!! FOR SHAME!

• Rash: my first and last roommate in the sorority house, and the reason for both. Fun Fact. She would make you drive her to McDonald’s, order, and then look at you like you were crazy when you asked for her money so you could pay the nice person at the window. That I paid attention to, she owed me over 1k. Looking back, maybe I should have started a running tab and sent it to her parents. (Or just not been so stupid.)
• Dell: It’s gonna be funny when I write about them without qualifying, but this is my brother’s girlfriend. Awesome girl. I mean she’d have to be to put up with my brother. I’d trade him for her in a HEARTBEAT! (haha! sorry Dumbquat!)
• Crazy. Ass. White. Chick. (CAWC): To many people have said this about you for it not to leave an impression. One of the Bitches On Wheels. Second In Command.
• Onyx:One of my roommates from college. A very nasty abbreviation fits her perfectly. Hint: It has three letters, and it ends in a ‘P’. One of the Bitches On Wheels. The ringleader, if you will.
• Bank: The friend who moved way back when. Then resurfaced by my going to college not 30 miles away from her. Unfortunately, I was always to drunk to go visit her. Or call her. Or text her. Or yell loudly. She’s coming back to the East Coast, and I couldn’t be happier, now that I’m partially sober for approximately 60% of the week.
• Preggie: My friend who’s having a baby. So this name will have to change. And soon.

Update: Preggie is no longer preg. She hasn’t done anything nickname worthy since the birth of her beautiful baby boy, but I’ll think of something eventually.

• Felicity: The friend we all love the best, and hate above all the rest. You know you’ve got one. (Hmmm… I wonder if she knows, that I know, that she erased my phone number… being a girl is crazy complicated sometimes. Complicated, but FUN!)

Update: Felicity is no longer speaking to me. FOR SHAME!

• SP: The person for whom this blog was started. And she lives in B’more. Too far away to drop in on. (Now that I think about it, that’s probably for a reason. And that reason being crazy Virginians like me. We REALLY Need to go to ‘on the half’ again. ‘Haven’t had that much fun with the Pregs and SP in a LONG time.)
• Momma: Favorite roommate of all time… despite the dog who liked to put his own flavor of frosting all over the black leather couches… And the woman who gracefully refrains from calling me until 2 in the afternoon following a barrage of drunken text messages the night before. Gotta love a friend like that.
• Rose: My environmentally-, dog-, and sex on the first date-, -friendly roommate. “My inner slut came out last night. Oh well. Won’t be talking to that one again!”
• VD: Hahahahahahaha!  Anywho, this is my friend from college, who enjoys motor boating me while in public.  And who is absolutely FABULOUS.  Enough to have Zoo animals at her wedding.   ROCK, Crasian!

Places:

• The Hat: College.
• Work: … what do you mean, you need help with this one?
• The Pig: Second greatest Bar in College town
• Davinci’s: Best bar in College Town
• Daytona Beach: Cesspit of the earth … whoops …
• DC: The place I claim I’m from when outside of the DMV. If I say Arlington, all I get are dumb asses saying things like “You can’t live there! That’s a cemetery!” or “Next to the Pentagon?”

Things:

• Memory-Catcher: The evil, Evil digital camera that you forgot you owned until the morning after, when you come face to face with the enlightening 2 1/2″ reasons as to why your hangover makes perfect, if painful, sense.