Yeah… I know that I haven’t been here for a while. I’m sure you cried. I’m sure you cried and pulled your hair and sobbed and scratched your faces trying to release the agony of you being lost without me.
Now get over it. I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
I’ve been a bit busy. Trying to get enough candles together to sell… buying everything under the sun (as apparently you need it all for making candles)… going to a movie with some friends… selling myself so that I can afford more damn beeswax… crying over the fact that someone else is quicker on the uptake than I, to have stumbled upon the greatest name for a candle company ever (I cried Kat, I really really cried)… another couple of movies in there somewhere… selling myself again, because I didn’t think it was supposed to be that much fun… getting ever more pissed off at the drama queen I have to work with… trying to understand the reasoning behind cursing at your superiors (and yeah, it’s still a dumb ass idea in my book, unless you’re trying to get fired, and then you’re a genius)… reading online comics… and dog sitting.
There. My life in a nutshell. Oh, and if you’re ever around the 14th street bridge, and you hear “tutti hanno il suo prezzo, ma il do sconti!” just keep driving. I don’t want you to know what I look like.
Now tell me what you want for christmahaunakwanza or whatever wonderbread-esq, non-offensive or offensive (we’re equal oppertunity here at the M&P) religion you practive that has a holliday coming up.
I’m tired of asking.
I want the same thing I’ve always wanted: women to take their clothes off for me. It’s festive, because it’s like unwrapping gifts.
Only you get to sit there while the gift unwraps itself. Voyeurism, sloth and greed. What more could you ask for?
Oh Gnugs – which company name was taken??? Don’t cry, we’ll help you find a BETTER one!
I have missed you, but I’m not into crying, so I acted out by drinking excessively, dressing slutty, and engaging in shame sex with Pistols. Look at what you’ve done to me, bitch.
Sniff… makes me want to cry. Mine would have been MUCH cooler, too. Oh well.
And I’m sorry about the genital herp in the ear thing. My friend’s a drug rep for Valtrex in NY. Maybe I can get you some free samples or something.
GNUGGETS!!!!!!
Well, Just in time for the big McNugget advertising push… You shall receive a $5 arch card. Because that’s all that I could steal out of my mother’s purse last time I was home.
I didn’t pull my hair but I sure pulled something else. Wink!
Why would you pull you ear? Wanted me to steal second?
All I want for Christmas is a man that’s good in the sack.
A hot one.
Ah yes… why is it the oddballs are the best in bed, but you wanna stare at the pretty ones? Or do we just think that the oddballs are so much better because of all that fantasizing of JTT’s that we’re doing… when we’re doing… them… ? But whatever. When you find one, pull a couple hairs and pass them along. We’ll have him cloned in a jiffy, and retire in NO time.