Today is the day
That all of us will remember
In exactly 364 more days.
All, may I have the pleasure of enlightening you to the fact that today, Falwless is OLD. That’s right folks, she’s old, and she’s still better than you.
So take that little Mr. “I had to have my brother buy me cigarettes” or little Miss, “I had to give felacio to the homeless man behind 7-11 so that he would by me some boonsfarm”
That’s right.
Falwless can buy her own damn smokes, and to hell with proselytizing snooty siblings. She can also buy her own damn boonsfarm without having to felacio The Magic Flute on homeless men unless she wants to, God Damnit.
So bow down, one and all, and rejoice.
Or something.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
*May this suffice, since Pistols can put my Paint skills to SHAME.
I’ll paint you sometime, baby. Unless you’re super old.
I thought we already dated me as being almost too young for you, and therefore perfect?
While I might be sporting enough to wish that bitch a Happy Birthday, I bow down to no one.
Falwless lays awake at night wishing she was me.
As do most of us… though pistols probably lays awake at night wishing he was doing you.
HAHAHAHAHA. Gnugs, you rock, sista. Rock! I am trying to make my way through everyone’s posts at this late hour because I was busy with actual work today. Can you believe the gall? Making me work on my own damn birthday? Fucking Nazis, I swear!
Thank you thank you thank you for this gorgeous post.
(And Kat, shut yo trap. No one needs to know I wish to be you but me and you.)
You are welcome. And now that it is not your birthday, I take it all back. Except your insatiable need to “mouthlatize” on some bums, that is.