Did I mention that my parents have been gone for a month? Well, they have. And while I’ve been watering their plants, feeding their deamon cat, bailing out their basement, taking in their mail, having to be polite to their neighbors–who, incidentally, make me throw up a bit in my mouth every time I remember that they exist–even planting their damn garden, etc., those… those… JERKS! have been climbing Matcu Picchu–only to discover that the only secrets written on the stone walls are merly recipies for piss poor attempts at hot chocolate, and tally notes from the town whore –and playing tag with the wonderful animals of the Galapagos–and I hope one of those snot encrusted iguanas bites them on the toe–with my loving brother, Dumbquat, and his girlfriend, Dell.
Just kidding. I’m kinda glad that they’ve been gone for so long. And being the noble and loving child that I am, I really hope they had the time of their lives. Meaning, of course, that they got the travel bug out of their system this time. Then, maybe, I wouldn’t have to deal with their house/responsibilities when they get goned again.
Well, ok, so maybe I’m not that altruistic. It was great not having to buy groceries for several weeks. Though they might complain about not having ANYTHING in the fridge. (I found a great new recipe for tomato soup: Ketchup. Just add water!)
Housesitting is fun until the family comes home and is all like, “How the hell did you get in here?”
so you’re the one…!?